About me...

Out of Syllabus 9

This is the world of Social Networking. Orkut, Facebook, Twitter etc etc etc…. And in all these network, one thing is common. “About me” And that is when I thought hard about me. I have seen so many comments like I am cool guy, I am smart guy, I lov to make frnds, I wanna date girls- the common crap in others profile. Well when I thought deep these were not the things which came to my mind. I definitely don’t know about me. Or rather say it is not static for me. I change. By years or months or even minutes. I asked my friends “about me” Many told many replies. “You are so good”. “I don’t know.” “I don’t know you, to reply to this”. “You are an idiot, to ask such questions” Well I am not satisfied. May be this was also a question like “what is the purpose of our life”. May be we have to live through to find it out…..
 As far as I know- I am ‘Spoiled’ for my father, ‘Hope’ for my mother and ‘Frustration’ for my sister. I am a bit of Masochist, a bit of Sadist, a bit of Insomniac, bit of wisdom, a bit of blunder, bit of depressed. I am arrogant, rude and I don’t care others. I am not the good guy. I am frustrated guy looking to relieve from my frustration. As every coin have two parts, may be me too have the otherside, the so called positive side. But certainly that side is in the shadows. But I don’t care that I am bad. Something is Good, because some other thing is ‘Bad’. And I like to be what I am now, throughout……

Depression...

Out of Syllabus 8
Depression – Because I am weak.
Depression - Because I fear.
Depression – I am Useless.
Depression – I am frustrated.
Depression – I don’t care anything.
Depression – I am failing exams.
Depression – I lost my LOVE.
Depression – No one understands me.
Depression – I am lonely.
Depression – I am insomniac.
Depression – I don’t know to express my love to others.
Depression – I don’t care what I talk.
Depression – I don’t care I hurt others.
Depression – I don’t care others feelings.
Depression – My –ve side is prominent.
Depression – I don’t have anything to project as my +ve side.
Depression – My college days are over.
Depression- I dont have my friends around.
Depression – I am masochist, but I can’t torture myself.
Depression – I am spoiling myself.
Depression – I am lost.
Depression – I don’t have a job.
Depression – I don’t have income.
Depression – I am depressed.
Depression – There is no cure.

Depression – Only one way to end this. DEATH and I can’t do it.

Three Mistakes of my life.....

All through the engineering life, viva has been very funny for me. These was one area I never paid any attention. These are some of the viva’s in my life
1.    Digital lab- Electronics was the subject I hated most in my life. And I was zero in it. Attended the lab as usual preparing nothing. I got Mod5 counter. I went to my place. Emil was adjacent to me. I waited for him to disassemble his circuit. When I showed him quest, he told his also was same circuit. Damn! He already got output for it. If I had asked before itself I too would have got output. Anyway copied the circuit diagram from him and got proceed. I made a circuit, which was blinking wildly. Not a Mod5 counter though. Anyway I was satisfied because I got proceed. Now the external examiner called me for viva. Hmm!! He started asking questions and I knew nothing. In between he asked what are the ‘FOUR’ states of working of a transistor. I knew saturation, and cutoff. Rest two I didn’t know. I thought hard. Hearing no reply from me, he asked next question. How many working states are there for transistor? Straight forwardly I answered ‘THREE’!!!!! After answering only I knew the blunder I made. Previous question he asked what are 4 states of operation, next question he asked how many states of operation and I answered 3!!! Thank God I passed the lab.
2.    Course Viva- Everyone was tensed for this. The last exam of B. Tech (excluding back papers). I prepared Operating System as my subject. And I was confident about my project. But Anees, my project mate, was also in my batch of course viva, and since he went before me I was sure external won’t ask anything from project. I went in after Anees. He asked me what your favorite subject is. I answered OS. Ok How many marks you scored in OS? I told 50 (actually I got 42, but since it is fav subject I increased to 50). He told with wide eyes, “Only 50. Is this your fav subject??!!!”  Well no comments for it.
3.     Most important one. Wipro Technical Interview. Lifetime opportunity. Hmm! Technical interview turned out to be HR. And I answered very blunderfully! Again came fav subject. This time too I told OS!! He asked Why OS is your fav sub. Damn! What to answer to this? I told “Well! Its OS, one sees, in a system primarily, so I was interested in it”. Then he asked “What did you learn new in OS?” Now I could feel the tension slipping away, because I knew Job too was slipping away. I just smiled. He didn’t make it more difficult for me and told “Ok we will inform you”. I knew what they are gonna inform me.